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Little White Lies

You know those little white lies we tell others and ourselves? Like all the time? You know what I mean.

For instance, when your text one of your girlfriends saying I’ll be there in 5 minutes, when in reality it’s going to take you another half an hour to leave the house. Your friends are going out on a Saturday and you really don’t feel like going because it’s been a long week and you’re exhausted. Instead of telling them the truth, you say to them sorry, I’m busy. Instead you end up watching Netflix alone in your bed with some Ben and Jerry’s by your side.

Or the time you were in a conversation with your friend but you keep checking your phone? You’re expecting a text from a cute guy or you keep checking your instagram feed because it’s addictive. You can tell your friend knows you’re not paying attention to her, yet you look at her and with the most earnest smile you can fathom and say, I’m listening don’t worry! But your eyes keep darting to your phone.

Or my favorite, when you’re in a crummy mood because you’re angry at someone or just having an off day. Of course, whether you want them to or not, someone asks you if you’re okay, and you curtly say, “I’m fine.” But you are the farthest thing from fine at that moment. You just want to curl up into a ball and cry, but you mask the pain because it’s easier to lie and pretend like everything is fine, just fine.

We think telling these little white lies are harmless, because, well,  everyone else does it. Sometimes we say these things to prevent those around us from getting hurt or inviting others into our pain and our vulnerability. Because then things would just get too messy, wouldn’t they? White lies are surprisingly easy to tell and help us avoid confrontation or other harsh realities.

But…Let’s Be Real

But, let’s be real, in a world where we are all often tell little white lies, whether it’s because we are afraid to say how we really feel, we don’t want to hurt those close to us or we use the lie as a scapegoat to get out of doing things or feeling bad, these lies can ultimately cause more harm than simply telling the truth.

International Honesty Day is today and I can’t think of a more perfect time to just simply be honest with those around us. It’s an opportunity to have a clean slate, get things off of our chest we’ve been holding onto, or to just say no to someone and not have to feel bad about it, because that’s how you really feel.

Here are a few things to be honest about:

  1. If you don’t want to hangout with your friends, you don’t have to lie and say you’re busy, just be honest and say sorry guys I really need a day or night to myself. They should understand that every girl needs some alone time to stay sane.
  2. If you can’t stop checking your phone while in the middle of a conversation and it’s quite obvious your friend knows your not paying attention (we all do it), it’s okay. Simply apologize, put the phone down, look them in the eye and say I’m listening. Sometimes with being honest we have to own up to your mistakes and admit when we are wrong.
  3. If you’re the farthest thing from feeling fine, which happens a lot because we are humans, with emotions that get hurt easily, then say I’m not fine, and be okay with not being okay. Admitting how we really feel can actually help us feel better in the long run and help us cope in the future when things are not always rainbows and sunshine.

I understand being honest is extremely scary and can feel extremely difficult. Baring your soul to someone and letting them see the real you is terrifying. Yet, it’s so courageous and bold. And even though being honest with yourself is no easy task, it’s definitely worth it. This is because being honest can have so many benefits.

Vulnerability can lead to openness with others. Trust will be built in the foundations of your relationships and in turn help those relationships become stronger. Vulnerability allows for deeper, more meaningful connections with people too because sincerity and truthfulness can be one of the highest forms of affection.

Honesty can heal and mend wounds you once harbored. You can find freedom and hope when you know the truth, it can change you how you view your life. Those around you will see you have an authentic and sincere character, which is something that is so admirable.  If you’re honest with people you are showing them how much you respect and value them. Hopefully, they will be encouraged to be more truthful as well. Honesty is one of the biggest ways we can love the people in our life and more importantly, love ourselves.

Honestly, we need more honesty

We need more honest people in this day and age. We live in a generation where you can’t believe anything you see on the Internet, social media or television. Everything is fabricated or photo shopped or filtered. We live in a world where it’s safer to stay behind a phone screen and speak your peace but actually being honest to someone face to face? No way.

People are totally okay with being fake and we’re all scared to say how we really feel. We don’t want to come across as mean or be considered brutally honest. But telling the truth can help us all improve in so many ways. It will not only make us happier and more brave but it will help create honesty in others too. That sounds like a win-win to me.

Do yourself a much needed favor and give Honesty Day a try. It’s a risk but I believe everything really great in this life comes with some sort of risk. Maybe you need to take baby steps and just be honest with yourself and that’s totally okay! Maybe you will finally tell the guy you’ve liked for way too long how you really feel! Because honestly, why not? At this point what do you really have to lose? I hope you find freedom and peace in however you choose to be honest. Love people and tell them the truth. Love yourself and do the same. Be empowered because you are being so brave.

Check out the history behind Honest Day.