Love is more than a checklist

So that person meets your checklist huh? Great. But what about that feeling? That can’t sleep, can’t eat, reach for the stars feelings. Because that’s what I want.

I have always known the qualities I wanted in someone. I always thought once I found that that person would be the one. About two years ago I was set up on a date, he was awesome and seemed to fit all the things I wanted in someone based off of my checklist. Our first date was a blast and we continued going on dates.

Throughout the time of us dating, he did everything right. He gave me the space I needed and just comforted me when I needed it but more importantly was the guy I could have had a future with and I would have been happy.

However, one thing was missing; That feeling.

You know that feeling of missing them when they aren’t there and how you can’t wait to see them. That instant connection with someone the minute you see them. Yeah, I didn’t feel that way. Sometimes I did but most of the time I didn’t.

I could tell him anything but the thing was he wasn’t the one I wanted to tell anything too. He would have done anything I wanted including going to church with me but again he wasn’t the guy I wanted to do those things with. He was the country boy, hard working, athletic, good time, got along with everyone guy I wanted but that still wasn’t enough. I knew if I married him I would be happy, but I wanted more.

So I left.

I left the checklist guy. The guy that made me feel like his world, the guy that did things for me that all the other assholes wouldn’t do. It wasn’t an easy decision but when I did it, I didn’t feel like I made a mistake. What I felt was a relief.

I have now officially fallen for a guy that didn’t meet my check list.

He is impatient, sometimes acts like a child with his pouty moments and doesn’t have it together all the time. But he is the one I miss, the one I want to do the silly things with, the person who listens to all my crazy thoughts over wine and makes me laugh until my stomach hurts. Over time that checklist didn’t matter anymore because my new checklist was what really made me happy and I found someone I could miss, I could want to tell things too, I want to do things with and he is a country boy, good time guy too.

So if you are reading this, it is probably because you are in this situation yourself. I can tell you that will be happy with your checklist person, you might even marry them, you might be married forever, but don’t forget sometimes the intimacy of love needs to be addressed, that’s an important part you shouldn’t forget about.

Wait for the love that is the can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars love. I promise no matter how many bad relationships, tears cried or years of being singleness happen, it will be worth it. That is a promise I can make you.