It’s 11 p.m. on a Saturday, you are out with your friends. Laughing. Meeting new people and having a few drinks. The guy you have been seeing, the one you have been telling your friends about for weeks- he is the best. You both are doing really good. You fight sometimes but that’s about it. He is in Texas partying it up for the weekend. You are in your new town. You are content because you both know what is going on and you are stable.

Midnight strikes. You start drinking a few more, dancing with the girls and just having an amazing night. It’s your night off and you are with your best friends. You check Instagram and other social media for a second. All of a sudden, you see something and you start to shake. You drop your phone. You find out the guy you have been seeing is at the same bar as his ex girlfriend. You start crying. Your night is ruined. You want to go home. You are no longer secure about your relationship. You are no longer are okay. You start to think about how you make things okay again and start reading things like love spell stories in the hope they might help. All this time, you don’t know what he’s doing and the whole process starts again.

Sound familiar? How many times in your life have you allowed a man to ruin your night? By now every girl reading this post should be raising a hand.

But why? Why is he allowed to? Why do you give him the power to do that to you? What makes him so special that he is allow to ruin it, when he clearly wasn’t thinking about you during his actions?

I remember a night my boyfriend ruined. It was St. Patty’s Day and after hours of laughing with my friends we were ending the night at my favorite restaurant to use pizza in order to soak up all the alcohol in us. I turned on my Facebook for the first time all day and was met with a picture of my boyfriend and his ex. Tears came. Nothing else and no one else around me mattered. What mattered was that he was with his ex.

Everything you are taught: stay strong, don’t cry, don’t give him that power, walk away, he is a jerk. All of those things don’t matter. Your security, your independence, your trust and faith is down the drain. You feel smaller, you feel weaker.

Your friends huddle around you trying everything to make you feel better. Some make excuses for him, some bash him, others get you a few shots and then others stand there completely quiet just rubbing your back.

Your night, your terrible thing that happened has now effective everyone else around you. It has now changed their night too.This role can be reversed as well. Guys can deal with this just as much however the crying is held back and there are probably more shots.

The reason I even write about this is because we should not allow one man to ruin our nights time and time again. Let me say that again, one boy. One single guy that was not caring about your feelings, was not caring about you finding out. Hello, its the 21st century. Anything you do is now on social media and he knew that.

We need to stop allowing men to have so much power over a night, a night that you were so secure with before.