I learned there were people who know so much more than me.
My parents taught me everything they could…
They taught me to play small, it was safer than thinking I could amount to something
They taught me my self worth, I had none and should always remember this
They taught me that girls are less than boys
My father taught me that a girl is helpless when a man wants sex
My mother taught me that keeping quiet and not speaking my mind is much safer
Yes, at a very early age, I began to learn about the people who know so much more than me
My teachers told me to learn “this way” but I could not. This is when the people who know so much more than me told me that I was un-teachable.
My classmates told me what to wear and what I needed to do to “fit in” but I did not have the means or ability to take their advice. These classmates who knew so much more than me helped me to understand that I did not fit in and would be better off keeping to myself.
The religious leaders I sought to help me get rid of the fear and anxiety that was ever present in my home life told me I was a sinner and should repent or I will never be able to enter the gates of heaven because I do not honor the parents who bring me such pain and sadness.
As a child, these people who knew so much more than me helped me to understand my value and my self-worth.
One day I heard a man teaching and he said “you are worthy, you have value.” But I said, “I’m sorry, you are mistaken. There have been so many people in my life who have taught me that I have no value, and that it would be best for me to play small in my life because this will keep me safe.” But the man’s words would not go away. Again he told me, “you are a gift, you are unique. There is no one else in this world who has your talents and heart. Keep sharing the gift that is you and you will help show others “The Way!”
But how can this be, there have been so many people who know so much more than me who have told me never to try.
Who are they, these people who know so much more than me? Where did they get their information? Could they have gotten their information from someone who knew so much more than they?
And where did those people get their information?
I am told that I have a bright light inside me, and this light is God. God is in me and he is waiting for me to understand that those people who I thought knew so much more than me were also taught by someone who they thought knew so much more than them.
And then God told me, Forgive them, bless them and and let them go, for they were there to teach you strength. These people who knew so much more than me gave me such tremendous strength to break free of what they taught me. They gave me tremendous strength to ask, “Is it true, all those limiting beliefs you taught me? Am I now free to accept new beliefs? Am I now free to believe in the gift that is me and the purpose I serve in this lifetime?
And the God in me answered “Yes, follow me. For I am you and together we will teach a new belief. We will teach those who are ready to accept their gift who they are and encourage them to question all that was taught to them by the people who they thought knew more than they. All that ask questions will experience freedom, abundance and peace. They will live a guilt-free life knowing they no longer have to be bound by limiting beliefs.
And so it is. I chose to let go of the fear and anxiety that was taught to me by those I thought knew so much more than me and follow the God in me to encourage others of their value, their gifts and their abilities.
And this is what I learned…
The God in me knows so much more than those people who I thought knew more than me!
Nancy Mueller ~ Empowerment Sensei for Women
