As I waited in line for my coffee one afternoon, I couldn’t help but notice the two teenage girls chatting at the table near me. They couldn’t have been more than 15 or 16 years old. One girl was wearing black leggings and a grey sweatshirt with a Burberry scarf on and Ugg boots. The other girl was wearing skinny jeans, a white button up and black Michael Kors flats. They each had their own iced coffee and talking particularly loud about what was going on in their lives, so I couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.
One of them was talking about a guy she liked but how another girl in her class liked him as well. The other was talking about her parents and about how they were “ruining her life”. During this conversation, I couldn’t help but hear a few choice words such as “slut”, “bitch”, and many f-bombs dropped as well. All I could think about while listening to these girls was “Was I like that as a teenager?” I really wanted to stop over and give these girls a few words of advice, as I may have been in their shoes once or twice, but it made me think about what I could tell my teenage self. I started to think about what I would say to teenage self
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Dear Teenage Self,
Now being older and looking back on myself as a teenager, there is a lot that I want to tell you. Things that I have learned through the years about life, love, family and myself.
First off, I want to tell you to respect mom and dad. There are so many times where you will get in pointless fights with them about something that they are trying to just help you with. Although at the time, it seems like they are being unnecessary and harsh, they are really just looking out for your best interest and trying to help you. They are trying to teach you valuable lessons in life, not ruin it. They work so hard to give you such an incredible life. Don’t take them for granted. Every single thing they do is out of love.
Tell mom what’s going on in your life. I know that sometimes it’s hard to tell your parents things, but it makes it even worse if they have no idea what is going on in your life. Your mother is one of your biggest supporters in life and will help you and listen to whatever is going on in your life and it will bring you two that much closer.
Be kind to everyone. In high school, everyone is faced with different things you may not know about. Do not bully, hurt people or back stab. Share your beautiful smile with those around you, you do not know how it could touch someone’s life.
It is okay to go against the crowd. Just because everyone is doing it, does not mean you need to. If you believe it is wrong or do not want to do something, remember you do not have to. Following your heart and what you believe, will not only help you become a strong leader but you will also grow to find yourself faster.
When it comes to love, please remember everything happens for a reason. Just keep that in mind when you go through various relationships. You will meet boys who will make your heart melt and give you those little butterflies in your stomach. When you fall in love, cherish the little moments. Don’t fight about the little stupid things; they are not worth fighting over.
When the time comes where your heart gets broken, lean on the people closets to you for comfort. It will hurt like hell at first, but you come to realize that you are much better off without him. You will learn that you deserve someone who will do anything to be with you and never stops showing you how much you mean to him. Always remember this, relationships are not one sided. Both people have to be willing to make sacrifices and put forth the effort to make it work.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or lifetime. You will encounter all of these different types of people in your life and each one of them teaches you a valuable lesson. Hold close the friends that mean the most to you and make an effort to stay in touch with them. The friendships that last beyond high school are the most valuable ones. Your friends are the ones who get you through the bad times and are there to celebrate the good times with you.
Work hard in everything that you do. Things in life worth having will not be handed to you. You have to put forth the effort for the things that you really want in life whether that is school, jobs, internships or relationships. I missed so many opportunities just because I didn’t put forth the effort to make them happen. Don’t let those opportunities pass you by.
Do not live in fear. There has been so many times when fear has stopped me from chasing my dreams. I promise you facing your fears head on will teach you so much and you will succeed even more.
Always have faith. Your faith is the strongest thing that you can rely on and it will get you through anything. Never lose your faith. Have fun in whatever you do, if you have fun then everything you do in this life will be worth it. Don’t sweat the petty things. Smile and be happy.
You are so fortunate to have the life, friends and family that you do, and I promise you, it only goes up from here.
Sincerely,
Your Twenty Year Old Self
Written by Contributor Writer Kara Weightman
