This is for my future daughter.
Dear Daughter,
I wrote this letter to you just in case you needed advice. I want to give you the advice I should have given myself a long time ago. Nobody is perfect and you are going to make mistakes. We are all human. I want you to remember all of this so one day you can tell your daughter. I just want you to make good decisions and to take care of yourself.
Friendship…
Just because you are friends with everyone in Elementary School and Middle School, doesn’t mean they will be your friends in High School. Trust me I had all the friends in the world. But little by little, I would lose them as I got older. You don’t need a big group of friends either, that just causes so much drama. It’s okay to have guy friends. Having guy friends doesn’t make you a whore, a slut or weird. Sometimes all you need is one true friend. If you can’t find that friend, you always have me. I will always be your best friend.
Cliques…
Just like in movies and TV shows, cliques are a thing. You will always have those girls that think they are all that. There are really smart people who may seem a little nerdy or different from the others. There are jocks who think that they are all that and a bag of chips. There are theatre people who are obsessed with show tunes and plays. There are people who dress in all black even when it’s hot out. There are people who do drugs and will tell you crazy stories. There are people who have anger issues and will take it out on anyone in their way. You just have to be yourself. You don’t have to be any of those things. You just need to be you. Stay true to yourself and don’t let others influence you to do bad things. You know right from wrong.
Trends…
Whether we are a wealthy family or a broke family, I will do my best to make sure you look decent. You don’t need all those clothes just to fit in. You can create your own styles. I will help you by telling you what looks good on you and what doesn’t. I will help you by telling you what matches and what doesn’t. I will always do my best to make you look decent. Just remember, it’s not all about clothes and money.
Makeup…
I don’t mind that you wear make-up. I wore makeup all the time as a teenager. I know it’s expensive too. But just remember what natural beauty means. You don’t need to cover up your face all the time. You are beautiful naturally. You don’t need to cake on make-up to feel beautiful. I know you are going to see pimples and freckles. You may think that they are all ugly and hiding them is the best thing for you. But you are always going to experience that. You are still going to be beautiful to me.
Boys…
Boys can be the biggest jerks. They will probably do something stupid and you will be upset with them for a while. That is okay. You will fall in love a lot. You will be heartbroken a lot. I promise that you will find the right one. I promise you will not be heartbroken forever. I promise you won’t be lonely forever. You are a smart, beautiful and talented girl. Any boy who breaks your heart is stupid. You have so much to give to this world. Don’t ever let some silly boy tear you apart. When you go through your break ups, I promise to buy your favorite ice cream and a chick flick for us to share. I promise to listen to you while you tell me what happened. I will help you rebuild your confidence. I will help you stand back up when he tears you down. I will make fun of him with you after you start to feel better. You will find Mr. Right soon. I promise.
Girls…
Girls are just as bad as boys. Sometimes I think girls can be worse than boys. You don’t have to be mean and tear another girl down. There will be someone out there who will try to bring you down like that. Girls know each other’s weaknesses. If you ever change your mind about boys and you want to like girls, that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to tell me. I will still love you no matter what. If you want to like boys and girls, that is still okay with me. I love you just the way you are. I’m very open-minded and if that is what makes you happy then go for it. Love comes in all genders, shapes, sizes and colors.
Losing Your Virginity…
This is a tough topic for all the girls in this world. I want you to be ready, baby girl. I want you to promise me to be safe. I want you to know the risks of unprotected sex and what it means. Don’t have sex for fun. Don’t throw yourself around at all the boys. Don’t send dirty text messages and pictures because people will blackmail you. Respect yourself and don’t let boys hurt you like that. If you want him to stop, you tell him to stop. If he doesn’t stop you call me or your father. I don’t want you to experience that. If you wanted to wait until marriage, I would never be against it. If you wanted to experiment for a bit, SAFELY, acting out things you might find within a video on somewhere like watch my gf, then do so with the right guys, don’t confuse lust over love, and casual sex with lovemaking. You will create your own beliefs and I will respect every single one of them.
Bullying…
I never want you to bully another person. I don’t want you to be picked on either. If that happens please tell me. You never have to be skinny just because all the other girls are. Curvy is just as beautiful. You don’t need to look like a clown to be pretty either. You don’t need to show a bunch of skin to look sexy. If you feel the need to go to the gym, we will get memberships together and start a diet. I will do it with you. I know what it feels like to want to cry yourself to sleep and to hurt your own self because you aren’t what people like. I promise to wake up and lay with you in the bed if you ever cry at night. You don’t have to talk. You just have to lie in my arms and cry. I won’t ask you any questions. I will just hold you. When you are ready to talk, I will be ready to listen. I don’t want you to turn to anything dangerous. I don’t want you to think hurting yourself is the answer. I want you to tell me everything. I want you to tell me if you need help. I will do whatever it takes to keep you here.
I will love you until the end of time. I want you to grow up and do big things. I want you to be happy and healthy. I want you to do the things you love. I know you have what it takes and I will be there to cheer you on. I will do everything I can to be at every practice and every rehearsal. I promise to help with homework and sports. I promise to make you laugh as much as possible. I promise to embarrass you in front of all your friends. I promise to gossip with you and never tell a single soul. I promise to help you shop for something cute. I promise to hold you when you cry. I promise to love you until the end of time. I promise to be your best friend when all your other friends are mad at you. I promise to be the best mom I can be for you.
You are my baby girl. I’m sorry if I come off as mean or overprotective. I just want to make sure you are safe and sound. I don’t want you to feel sad. I want you to feel beautiful and I want the best for you. I know we are going to fight. You and I are going to be stubborn because you are going to be just like me. You are going to be spoiled because I was too when I was your age. You will always be little in my eyes. I know you are going to grow up and do big things. I want you to change the world. You are a little me. I want you to avoid the mistakes I made. I not saying you won’t make mistakes in your life, but I want you to be cautious with your heart.
I love you baby girl.
Love,
Your Mother
